Ugh..

The first photo is of me 51 lbs ago. The second is me now. Being overweight is driving me crazy. I have tried practically every diet imaginable and I seem to gain weight instead of losing. I would love to have a gym membership again, but considering I do not have employment that is really not an option.

So my four year-old-nephew has come to visit for the weekend. When he comes it appears my diet goes into hiding, along with the cat and other things he terrorizes. This morning he had to have pancakes for breakfast. Then he had to have cupcakes. And Pizza. And we went to Dairy Queen. Needless to say I have a tummy ache from all the sweets we have been ingesting.

We have had tons of fun the past couple of days playing on the slip and slide. He thinks its pretty funny to see FeeFee slide down that thing and end up in the grass. We have also been in his blow up pool this weekend. I was trying to scoop some of the grass out that his little feet had carried in when he said "You have long skinny legs!" This was so exciting even if I knew that in a few years what seems like long skinny legs would really appear to be short and chubby.

But I decided to bask in the moment for a while until my dad says "maybe some of the medicine you take makes you gain weight." Seriously, did he just ruin my moment? Yes he did.
So now as I lie here awake thinking about every bite of food I had today, he is sound asleep in his cozy bed not having any idea the impact his words just had.

Its true I have gained quite a bit of weight. But I didn't need him to point it out! I was well aware of the fact when my clothes began to stop fitting.

So...starting tomorrow, the diet is back on. I also want to start running, although I know that will cause a battle all in itself. My dad will say "dogs will chase you" or "its too hott" or "there are cars on the road"..all things any 23 year old already knows. I have some workout videos I enjoy doing too...

Particualrily Richard Simmon's Party off the Pounds. This video cracks me up. No matter what kind of mood I am in, I can do this video and I am laughing by the end. Richard makes it so light hearted and fun..and its apparent he truly understands the way an overweight person is feeling..because he too was overweight..unlike so many of these other fitness instructors who wouldn't know fat if it sat on their lap and called them momma.

So America..I need to lose at least 50 pounds before I am healthy again. This will be really difficult for me because I have low blood sugar and I get very sick when I don't eat every two hours. It also doesn't help that I feel I should be able to eat everything everyone else is eating. I need support, but I know I can do this because I have done it before. Prayers would be appreciated. Becasue "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

If you have any tips I would also love to hear them..because what I am doing is obviously not working.